Life is a Wonder

Again i was at a stop light, and have you ever looked into other peoples cars and wondered what there life is like? Who they are like? I do, all the time. I know its like creepy but people do the same to me. When i see people laugh and smile or even cry i always wonder what made them do that. I believe that wondering makes the world go around. Well maybe not actually but in a sense. I care what people think, good or bad its who i am. I like to here peoples opinion. I got back from my best friends house she lives where i used to live and i saw all of my old friends and it made me happy, it felt like i never left but as i sat down in my room and put everything away i cried. My life and time didnt stop it just kept on moving and moving which made everything feel worse. My friends are at a different school and im a whole hour away, their lives are the same, but mine feels different, like really different. And while i was at my friends house i met this guy, and while i was at PWLMS i had the biggest crush on him lol but i never talked to him untill saturday night at the carnival, he became my ride buddy since my friend was ummm.....really involved with her boyfriend =) and i spent all day sunday with him and he is a really good person like better than i thought but even he is different! he is gonna be a spohmore at DHS while im gonna be a Freshman at GHS. talk about drama! haha. this is just a story of part of the summer. And now i wonder when im gonna see him again.... well i gotta go and pack for washington....

Life is crazy

I look at photos from a few years ago and i see the smiles and i wonder if i will feel the same again at that moment, some photos are with people that i will never see again. or some are places that i havent been to in years, and the memories all come back and make me laugh and cry and feel things that i thought were over, but nothing is ever done and over with is it? Does the laughing and the smiles stop? And does the pain a tears eventually just stop. I was sitting at a stop light today and thought thats how life is. Green and you just move and move but then it comes to a Yellow and people start to slow or speed up, but eventually the light turns RED and other people get to go... thats how it is, while you are stoppped others are going ahead. And its going so fast you can barley stop to really think unless your there for that 30 seconds. It comes to me in a blur. And i think to myself will i ever be able to see clearly again? because life seemed so care free when i was 5 but that was years ago and in 3 in a half years im turning the big 18. And i want to enjoy the next few years but i cant see it. Everyone says that it goes by so fast. but isnt life already moving a rocket speed? How much faster can life go? How many days do you get to lay in the sun and be care free? When you dont have to worry about a boyfriend or a bill or homework sitting at your kitchen table wating for your pen to fill its empty pages and be graded on. Life is like a grade. You get grades on your clothes and your house, your friends and you income where you travel how you look how you live your life, I think thats what people are afraid to live they are afraid to be graded. And thats what i am afraid of getting the wrong grade on life. People say you shouldnt care what people think, but thats only if its a bad thing that saying doesnt go both ways if i said "wow you look amazing" people would be like thank you and smile but if i said "Ummm you should change, you look fat in that" people would get angery and upset and be mad. Life is crazy and these are just random thoughts... that i hope one day will be answered...